I grew up in Edmonton, Canada, home of the West Edmonton Mall, which was at one point the largest mall in the world. Among its many attractions is the World Waterpark, the largest indoor waterslide/wavepool park in the world. I can’t count the number of summer days I spent inside that place, splashing around in the Blue Thunder wave pool, riding the Skyscreamer (a nearly straight vertical drop about 5 seconds long), and screaming my way down the Howler (a long, twisty slide with about 75% of it in complete darkness). Good times.

As the days are getting warmer and longer, I find my thoughts while sitting at a desk in an office building drifting more and more towards longing for the days when my biggest decision was which slide to go on next.

Slippery when wet

Though it doesn’t involve having to use a gang shower or putting on a swimsuit, Waterslide Extreme on the iPhone is as close as you can get to a real waterslide experience without having to worry about tripping the water sensors inside your electronics. I don’t know which city has built a towering series of glass waterslides above it’s skyscrapers, but holy CRAP do I ever want to move there.

Gameplay is simple: tilt your iPhone left and right to steer, tilt it back towards you to slow down. Try to collect gems on your way down, avoid obstacles, and for God’s sake don’t let yourself fly over the edge on a corner. That’s a LONG way down.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I’m also not entirely sure just how many safety regulations this waterslide violates. Aside from the fact that you’re starting out a good hundred stories above the ground with no apparent safety equipment, some of the slides – oh, there’s just no way to class this up – appear to be infested with crabs.

I'll admit it. I giggled.

I generally don’t expect a high degree of realism in video games, so I’m willing to suspend my disbelief here. In the end, this is a free app that provided me with more than a few minutes of entertainment value, and it even politely asks me on launch if I want to listen to its included music or tunes from my own library. Fun and polite. Gender equality abounds as well, as you get to choose a male or female racer at the beginning.

Think you’ve got what it takes to master all 9 slides? Give Waterslide Extreme a whirl. There are worse ways to spend time sitting indoors waiting for quitting time!