In a story I feel like I’ve waited my entire professional life to cover, Rush Limbaugh has decided to take aim at Siri and continues to entrench his legendary posture of saying things that take a gigantic, steaming dump on simple logic. It all started when, earlier this week, he said to his listeners: “Now, if there is anybody in this audience listening that writes for an Apple or high-tech blog — or if there is anybody listening to this program that works for or at Apple, Incorporated — you have to hear what happened to me this morning.”
I’m here for you, Rush.
He explained a situation in his car where his iPhone 4S was paired with the on-board Bluetooth Wi-Fi system, and Siri dictation did not occur…
[quote]I hit the microphone button and I get the three beeps and no connection. It’s not working. So I say, “Ah, damn it, the system’s down. Something’s wrong with the servers,” but I keep trying. The third attempt… I was trying to respond to some stuff Kathryn had sent me. She needed an answer on some stuff. So I said whatever it was my answer was the third time, and what came back to me? This is what you’re not gonna believe. What showed up on my iPhone was “Obama’s minions are taking over and there’s nothing you can do about it,” and I hadn’t said anything like that![/quote]
“Obama’s minions” is an interesting turn of phrase and has a “release the flying monkeys” ring to it. Anyhow, he goes on…
[quote]What came back to me the second time was totally unrelated to anything I had said. It was talking about wind power and Obama and, “You don’t have a chance.” I am not making this up. And I said to myself, “You know, somebody’s hacked Apple’s servers. I’m gonna get in there.” I said, “I can’t wait to get to work and fire up some of these Apple blogs because I’ll bet you this has been going on all morning and I’ll betcha it’s a big story that Apple’s servers have been hacked.” So I tried it again. The third thing which came back had nothing to do with politics.[/quote]
At this point Rush believes Apple’s servers have been hacked (by Obama’s minions, I can only assume) and yet… no news about hacking or a security breach of any kind.
Putting aside for the moment that Rush himself says “Sadly, I can’t prove it” (props where they’re due; at least he’s not pulling the “IT’S TRUE! I SWEAR!” approach), it’s a tricky hack to mess with someone’s phone in that way, but far from impossible. With the Old-Testament-Level of ill-will that Rush has created for himself among many minorities (and among women, who are not exactly what you’d call a “minority”), it’s not hard to imagine that someone might make it their little OCD project to mess with Rush’s iPhone. It doesn’t exactly create peace in the Middle East, but everyone needs a hobby, I guess. It bears saying that Rush has also occasionally stretched the truth on certain issues and has retracted some strong statements in the past, so his commentary style seems to be less about giving the cold, hard facts and more about throwing stuff against the wall to see what people will let him get away with saying.
Despite how tempting it would be to enter into a long-winded diatribe about Rush’s politics, we are still just a tech blog and that discussion falls outside the parameters of what we want to be known for (and yes, that’s a clue as to what we won’t let ride in the comments section). That aside, both American Conservatives and Democrats give Rush a wide berth because very few people are willing to align themselves with his comments, which are not just traditionally but habitually misogynistic, racist and consistently about singling individuals or groups out in a hateful manner. I’m not a political analyst, but I am a writer with a decade and a half of professional tenure behind me, and I can say that rants are both the easiest to write and the most popular among readers, but are almost always the hallmark of a writer with poor analytical skills.
Perhaps the biggest criticism that can be levelled against Limbaugh for his epic iPhone story is one he rarely hears: It was pretty boring.