I don’t know what to say, but I’m going to try anyway

Note: This was written last night, after receiving the news that Steve Jobs had passed on. I wasn’t sure if I was going to post it, but decided to anyway. I hope it makes sense.

I’m sitting here, having just received the news over the phone from a local radio station calling for comment on the passing of Steve Jobs. I have no words. I’m not sure what to say, or how to say it, and more importantly, I’m not sure if there’s anything I can say.

But, I’m going to try to put into words my feelings and emotions.

I could sit here and tell you about my first Apple keynote experience. I could sit here and tell you how thankful I am to have this job which was made possible because of Steve Jobs. I could fill these pages with emotional thought after thought, but I won’t. It feels cheap, trite even.

We, along with most of our readers, knew this day would come. We hoped it wouldn’t, but always, in the back of our minds we knew Steve Jobs wasn’t doing so well.

It feels like it’s April 5, 1994, again, another day that I’ll always remember, the day that Kurt Cobain was discovered dead in his home. I was only thirteen then, and didn’t exactly know how, or what, I should be feeling. There I sat, flabbergasted that someone I respected was no longer with us. Someone that changed the music industry, and my life along the way, was gone, in a delicate breath. Fast-forward seventeen years later, and here I am, feeling the same way again, but this time with a more adult perspective. And strangely, instead of feeling like it’s easier this time, I’m left feeling just like I did then, completely blindsided, completely without words.

After Cobain’s death my friends and I would often talk long into the night about what music would be like had Cobain still been around, and I reckon we’ll be doing the same thing with Jobs when Apple and its competitors release new products. Instead of reflecting on the past accomplishments, I’m left wondering what the future could have held if Jobs was around for another decade.

One man changed the way we listen to music, the way we read the news, the way we share our lives with others. He, along with the other Steve, put computers in our homes, music in our pockets, and most recently gave us a better phone, a modern phone. He innovated where no one thought innovation could happen. He did it with vigour and a passion that I can only hope I can match some day.

There won’t be a replacement, and there certainly won’t be someone to fill the void left behind by Jobs, but his legacy will certainly live on. His commitment to perfection has often stuck with me, and I hope that you feel the same.

Love or hate the man, Steve Jobs gave himself to this industry in a way that no one preceding him could. For that I respect him, and for that I’ll always remember him. Taking technology and turning it into a liberating device for the rest of us is no easy task. I’m glad he did it.

This fucking sucks more than I thought it would.

Joshua is the Content Marketing Manager at BuySellAds. He’s also the founder of Macgasm.net. And since all that doesn’t quite give him enough content to wrangle, he’s also a technology journalist in his spare time, with bylines at PCWorld, Macworld and TechHive.