New York Magazine asks the question, but I fear we already know the answer: Does Anyone Outside Silicon Valley Even Want a Smartwatch?

Despite all the buzz surrounding wearables, it isn’t clear who’s supposed to be buying them. Fewer than half of the respondents to a recent Accenture survey said they would consider buying a smartwatch, and even the most optimistic experts predict only 20 million smartwatch sales this year, a pittance compared with phone and tablet sales.

I can’t get over the feeling that the Smartwatch craze is exactly like the 3D TV craze from a few years ago. It feels any awful lot like the same thing: an industry looking for its next cash printing machine, and nothing more.

I’ve never been a jewelry kind of guy. I struggle with my wedding ring, I never wear a watch, and I certainly don’t wear a necklace or bracelet. It’s pretty obvious where I fit on the “wear a smartwatch” spectrum, and I’m sure you all fit on that spectrum somewhere else, but companies are going about this whole sensor thing in the wrong way. Give me an undershirt, or even underwear, with these health sensors in them and I’ll wear it. I’ll wear it because I can continue to wear the things I love and in a style that’s comfortable.

Don’t slap these logo-laden things on my wrist. I won’t wear it.

As it stands, I’m thinking about giving up my smartphone entirely. I don’t need another device chirping at me, stealing my attention every five seconds. Passive data collection that I can check up on once or twice a week? Fine. Notifications blasted at me every two seconds from my wrist because I missed a daily step milestone? Pass.

Do you really need the weather on the watch at a moments notice? Look up. See clouds? Bring an umbrella.

Photo Credit: Janitors (cc)