The Only 5 Things You Can Count On At Apple’s Event Tomorrow

| Monday, September 9th, 2013

It’s almost the big day, and the tech press is out there pretending they have some semblance of a clue about what Apple’s about to release. To be matter of fact about it, there’s only 5 things you can count on happening tomorrow and we’ve got the definitive list right here. I guarantee you we’ll be the only site on the planet that bats a perfect 1.000 on our predictions.

Anywhoozle, here’s the only 5 things you can count on happening tomorrow at Apple’s scheduled event:

1. Boring Ass Statisticsapple-ipad-3-ipad-hd-liveblog-2923

2. Goddamn Game DemosOB-TH956_appler_G_20120611143508

3. No Scott Forstall Crazy EyesiPadiGrillz03-1

4. Sexy Jony Ive Soliloquiesjony-ive-10-20-09

5. More Goddamn Game Demosphpo8zDrAIMG_5133_610x458

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